Being in a New Relationship When You’re Still Reeling from the Old One

Relationships can be the most wonderful – or most terrifying things that many people will endure. This is particularly true when you haven’t fully recovered from the previous relationship.  Some relationships are more difficult than others when it comes to recovery.

Leaping into a new relationship is never a good idea before you’ve managed to put at least some of the old hurt behind you. At the same time, you don’t want to lock yourself away from the world for months or years while you struggle to put the pieces of your heart and soul back into place.

One thing you want to make absolute certain is that you aren’t setting yourself up for the typical rebound relationship. Rebound relationships are rarely healthy for either party and may leave you even more deeply wounded than before. Allowing sufficient time to pass before getting involved with another potential partner can lessen the risk of rebound fallout.

One thing you must do in order to move on is confront the past and recover from it rather than allowing it to continue controlling you. In most cases, this is much easier said than done but it’s a growing pain that will clear that path for better relationships to come.

Time doesn’t heal all wounds (unfortunately neither does a half pint of rocky road ice cream) and there are times when it’s in your best interest to be proactive in your recovery rather than reactive to your pain.

The absolute best gift you can give yourself while recovering from a breakup and beginning a new relationship is to apply some of your time, strength, and energy into learning to love yourself again.

Discover the things you like about yourself and the world in general.  Filling your life with good things will go much further for your recovery and the good of future relationships than dwelling on the failures and hurt of the past.

If you’re having trouble letting go, then you might consider counseling of some sort or joining a support group. There’s no shame in this. Your self-esteem takes a hit when a relationship ends, particularly if it ends badly.

There’s pain and doubt that weren’t there before, and sometimes it simply helps to be able to talk your way through the hurt without the fear of judgment or condemnation. Counseling can also help you see yourself in a positive light as you’re trying to see the world with optimism again. 

If you do this, your new romance will have a much greater opportunity to blossom and grow than if you jump in too quick and never deal with the hurt and anger from your past.

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